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was interested in things beyond “candlelit dinners and sunset walks on the beach.” I read his amusing and engaging profile (and the photo wasn’t bad), and my intuition said, “This could be the one.” I sent him a simple greeting and asked what movies and types of music he liked (those and political leanings are my litmus test).
A flurry of emails led to a lively — and encouraging — phone conversation, which led to plans to meet for lunch a few days after Thanksgiving.
“You can do a commitment ceremony and not enmesh one another financially.
We have a lot of power, and we are not as afraid as when we were younger.” Understanding that what I’d been experiencing was a natural evolutionary state gave me a greater sense of control and reminded me that I have a lot of options.
This often happens because of a crisis, the most common ones being health, financial or relationship, which brings insecurity and fear.” I told her I was managing my life just fine: I owned my home, had a busy career, friends and family, an active social life and respect among my peers. By midlife we are smarter about our finances, and we don’t want someone who is opportunistic about what we have created for ourselves.
After three months of dating but still not having met any of his friends or relatives, I started to see red flags.
But first, I have something to try: Sam and I are going to take an “affordable” vacation — we'll be taking care of a friend's home midway between us.
We will be able to “play house” on neutral ground and explore another town where I can see him in action outside of my home and discomfort zone.
My hormone levels had clearly dropped off, and I hadn’t been feeling as sexually … (MORE: The New Midlife Dating Question: What's Your Credit Score?
) A New Set of Dating Requirements Because I'm no longer a raging hormonal machine (in either the pre- or menopausal way), my rational mind has a much larger say in my choice of a partner than in my past.
Yet at Christmas he decorated my house and fixed the crumbling wooden frame around my shower windowsill, among other thoughtful tasks he had plenty of time for.